Anyone who has children, or was a child, knows about being ungrateful. I’m sure if I ask my parents if there was ever a time that I was ungrateful, I’m sure they’d be laughing and say, “JUST one time?” Sitting here trying to think back to when I was ungrateful, there is only one memory that comes to my mind and it is vague. I remember more from my dad’s own memory. My mom had brought home some lip gloss, or something along those lines for me, as a treat. I had a friend over and looked at her gift and complained that it wasn’t what I wanted. And hence, I made her cry. I didn’t see it as her being kind and thinking of me. I was acting up in front of my friend and immediately complained it wasn’t what I wanted. I don’t fully remember this, but have no trouble believing that I had done this. But I do remember times when my parents did stuff for us or took us somewhere to have fun and always saying “Thank you.” Even if it was just taking us out to eat somewhere for breakfast, there was always a “thank you” and it was never prompted.
I know that “times have changed.” It always does but we also try to keep things similar. It frustrated me so much that my children have to be prompted all the time to say “thank you.” Sometimes I try to remind myself not to say “What do you say…” when they are given something or something has been done for them right away and give them a chance to do it on their own. But I always end up repeating myself! It is a rarity when my oldest says thank you to me whenever I, or we, do anything for her. I know this because it actually just happened the other day. I was shocked to hear her say it. I took her on a hike up Mt. A and packed a lunch for us to have at the top. I wanted some one-on-one time with her since we don’t get to do it much during the school year. We were at the top eating our lunch and she just looked at me and said, “Thank you Mama for taken me here today. I’m having fun.” A simple thank you is all I ever look for. But I also say that if you do things expecting something in return, you are doing it for the wrong reason. In regards to my children, I don’t follow that rule!
It was spring break this past week. We really didn’t plan much for them because we are trying to pay more attention to what we spend our money on. And knowing that we are going to FL and Disney at Christmas time, we are really trying to save up. So, we decided to take them to a nice hotel that had a small water park inside and also take them to Six Flags. We did the water park the day we got there because it was extra to use it! We took them out to dinner twice and spent all of the next day at Six Flags. At the end of the day at, our youngest was able to get something that was under $25. Why $25? Well, our oldest didn’t put on the shoes we told her to when we left the house and I didn’t notice that she had her rain boots on until we were well on our way. SO, we had to stop and buy her a pair of walking shoes at Marshalls that were $24.99. Our youngest decided that she would get something for herself AND her sister with the money she had. A thank you was given to her and we got, “You guys are the best parents in the whole wide world.”
We are because we “wined and dined” them for two days. When we got to dinner the last night, it was nothing but whining because of whatever set the little one off. I had to take her outside to get her to knock it off! Then the other kept complaining that her food was too hot and couldn’t even touch it! The next morning it was they didn’t want to go home, why did we have to leave, I don’t like that donut, I want my kindle, it’s my turn, I don’t want to take a nap, and my favorite, what are we doing now? They would not give us two minutes to sit down without having to ask us to do something for them. I asked Ryan, “When is it ever enough?” It’s never enough and it’s never ending.
My parents may have something different to say, but I never remember being this way with them. I think my brother and I knew better! One look from dad, and that was it! I know I wanted things that my friends had or what was popular at the time. But, if I felt brave enough, I asked once and that was it. I even remember my dad taking us to buy ourselves a gift that we wanted for Christmas. Mine was an easy bake oven. We were so excited to pick it out, pay for it with our own money, and get home to play with it. NO!!! When we got home we had to wrap it and wait for Christmas! WHAT!!! We had to wait? But we bought it! It was already ours! I don’t remember ever asking my dad why he did that. It’s just a memory we talk about and complain about. I feel that it had to do with being grateful. We saved our money, that technically they gave us for chores, and we didn’t have to buy anyone a gift, which would have been a nice thought/action to do. We were able to buy what WE wanted. We earned the money and was able to spend it as we saw fit.
Do I feel my children are ungrateful? Most of the time they are. I feel that they are because they don’t know any different. We talk and talk to them about “others” who don’t have much and are not able to do the things that we are able to do. They have no concept of this. They can’t understand why they can’t have more or what they want all the time. Even during lent and we do the soup bowl for those who are hungry. They don’t get it. Seeing is believing to them. They don’t see hunger, poverty, real gratefulness for things, simple things. Maybe it’s time they see what is happening around the world still. Maybe it’s time we make them “see” to believe. Times have changed!
True Modern Mom Life 